Gottman Method
What Is The Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is a structured and systematic approach to couples therapy. Its goals are “to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.”
The cornerstone of the Gottman Method is its thorough couples assessment process. It begins by evaluating the 19 potentially problematic areas that often occur within a relationship and then categorizes each of these problems as either solvable or perpetual. Since perpetual problems that cannot be resolved make up nearly 70 percent of conflicts, the focus is for couples to learn more effective ways to manage disagreement by fostering an appreciation for one another’s differences.
Originally developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman in the 1970s, the Gottman Method is an evidence-based therapy that thousands of couples have used to repair their relationships. With ongoing research and enhancements to its principles and structure, the Gottman Institute continues to refine their approach to improving human relationships to this day.[
Who The Gottman Method Can Help
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy can be applied to all kinds of relationships, whether they be short or long-term partnerships, same-sex or opposite-sex couples, those with or without children, or relationships with nontraditional structures. The Gottman approach not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships but also strengthens happy ones.
By applying his assessment techniques to couples within a research setting, Dr. Gottman was eventually able to predict with 90 percent accuracy which of these couples would divorce. He later expanded his method to include an assessment of friendship and intimacy in relationships, leading to breakthroughs about how couples with a stronger emotional bond can manage conflict more successfully.
How Is The Gottman Method Different Than Other Couples Or Marriage Counseling?
Many other modalities of marriage counseling are neither structured nor evidence-based. Unlike some more traditional couples counseling, the Gottman Method, when utilized according to standard, is scientifically proven to be effective in promoting healthier relationships.
The Gottman couples assessment begins with a joint session that evaluates responses by both partners to 19 historical and attitudinal questions. It is followed by individual sessions with both partners and a review of the findings. Once this vital information has been gathered and shared by the therapist, couples will be guided to explore helpful ways they can fix the weaker aspects of their relationship.
Oftentimes, couples enter therapy due to one or two symptoms they have identified as the problem in their marriage. What the Gottman Method assessment process is so good at doing is revealing the foundational issues—such as opposing views on finances, roles in the relationship, parenting, and future goals—where partners don’t share the same values.
Once these foundational issues are identified, the Gottman approach works from the ground up to help couples find appreciation for each other’s differing value systems, thereby reducing contempt and criticism. When couples repair the foundation of their relationship, it reduces conflict which, in turn, aids in resolving the problems that brought them to therapy.
My Background In The Gottman Method
I was initially introduced to the Gottman Method over 10 years ago, and have been recommending their books to clients ever since. I have also been formally trained and completed Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
I decided to use the Gottman Method exclusively with all my couples in therapy because I believe it is the most efficient method of assessing problematic areas, adopting effective conflict management techniques, and for partners to learn how to turn toward each other rather than away from each other during conflict. It also helps couples build skills around creating and maintaining positive sentiment and encourages them to structure their relationships toward shared goals and values.
While the assessment process can be rigorous, from its results, couples will quickly realize how precisely the Gottman approach can pinpoint problematic areas. The assessment leaves no stone unturned; even when couples come to therapy due to a current crisis, they will surely be impressed with the Gottman Method's ability to contextualize the crisis within the larger framework of the relationship.
Find Out How The Gottman Method Can Help You
Using a proven method of couples therapy can give you the tools you need to make your relationship work. If you would like to find out more about the Gottman Method and relationship therapy I offer, please call 415-710-9777 or visit my contact page.
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